Thinking....and finding balance

I think that my hibernation is over. I have deep cleaned three rooms in my house and am glad to be done. There are just small jobs to do now.
In doing these tasks I have lost my routine and feel a bit off. I wasn't very happy yesterday, so I began to write. There is something about writing things down, wrestling with the problems on paper. Then to try to begin to find solutions and new goals. There always seems to be gaps, doing well in one area but not in another. Looking for balance. Wanting to be different then who God made me to be.
I am better one on one then in large groups. I like to be given a job rather then just pitching in and I don't like being out and about all the time, just to name a few. I need to embrace how God has made me, and know that He loves me and can use me even with all my failings.
Psalm 139 is my favorite, read it for yourself, it is beautiful. Here are the first three verses.
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Until next time, my love to you~ Terri